I’m happy. Progress is progress, period.
My stepson is in town for the holiday and I am stoked! We’ve been playing Wii Sports (and he’s been killing me) and falling back into our routine. It only took a day of deprogramming after a night with the grandparents, lol.
That’s about it today; keeping to short and sweet.
I lost another pound. I counted points, kept fat intake in check, and only lost a pound. One pound gone after a week like that used to make me want to cry, but I’m trying to keep the positive in mind. I have more energy and feel good. I got creative in the kitchen and the family enjoyed it right along with me. I’m on track and am gonna do what it takes to stay that way.
Now for the whining. My arthritic knee and shoulder are working overtime. I can’t walk more than I am at the moment and then I am am sucking down Tylenol or Advil to keep mobile. Gah!
That’s it. Time to meet DD’s school bus.
Last Monday I weighed in at 236 and wanted to cry. It’s not that it’s my top number of all time, but it’s the number I hit when I felt I was at rock bottom. I was heavier, but that number is a sore spot with me.
I went into action as soon as I got home after seeing DD off for school. I went through the pantry and fridge and tossed my trigger foods. I then went to the store and picked up things I actually needed – whole grains, beans, veggies. I made a huge pot of red beans and rice (fat free & awesome), steam-fried cabbage, and berries for dessert. It was simple, filling, full of fiber, heart-healthy, and just plain good! Hubby has been talking about it all week and he never does that.
It reminded me that I can have fabulous food that is good for me. I don’t have to eat junk when time is of the essence.
This morning when I hit the scale I was 4 pounds lighter. I didn’t count points or hit the elliptical or starve. I ate good food that was good for me. This is what this journey is about. Eating well and living well.
After 10 pounds are gone I’ll be exercising more. Right now walking and my modified Pilates and yoga routines are the extent of it. My body cannot take much more than that right now. I tried and spent two days paying for it.
K, that’s it for now.
Chicago here I come!
I’m still annoyed by those measurements, but still energized by them. I’ve been getting in more protein and less refined carbs. I’m not going back to my ultra low carb days, just getting more balance in my food. And keeping portions under control.
I think I’m annoying hubby a bit. Even my junk food runs have been healthier – veggie sub at Subway, no cheese, vinegar, no oil. Fresco style bean burrito at Taco Bell. It makes him crazy. This afternoon when DD offered her last slice of pizza to us, hubby told her I wanted it. I told her I didn’t and to just put it away from later if hubster wasn’t interested. It’s typical of the routine when I’m eating differently. I’m not thrilled about it, but I’m used to it. He only gets this way when he’s feeling like making a change in his habits. He doesn’t like eating alone and sometimes considers it eating alone of I’m eating something different.
He makes me tired, but I love him.
I have a knot in my shoulder that refuses to quit, so exercise has consisted of the modified yoga and pilates routine and watching the dogs race around the yard. Yep, I let them run instead of walking them; sue me.
So far so good as far as food today. I’m getting in lots of veggies and protein and small amounts of fat (only what was used in cooking and occurs naturally in the ingredients). I’m not sure what we’ll have for dinner tonight, but the rest of the day has gone like this –
B: 1/4 c scrambled tofu, 1/4 cup veggie/nut burger, jalapeno, 2 TBS diced tomato, TBS shredded cheddar; cinnamon flax muffin; decaf, water, supplements
L: Tandoori tofu, sauteed spinach-onion-garlic; cup veggie soup
Hubby’s not thrilled with the low sodium levels, but my heart is thanking me. I’m craving sugar and am not sure what I’m going to do about it. We’re headed grocery shopping in a bit and I’m going to throw Greek yogurt into the cart. I love this stuff! 1/4 to 1/2 cup of it with some fruit, ground flax, and drizzle (or sprinkle) of a sweetener is so very good. It feels decadent and that helps trick these jaded taste buds of mine.
Did I mention that I’m reducing caffeine again? Yep, 1 cup of regular only, and that’s only when we’re out. At home it’s either 3/4 decaf or full decaf. Hubby hasn’t realized it yet. He’s up when he’s up and crashes at the drop of a hat.
Hubster is actually ready to go, so I’m out for now. Here’s to a great week!
Yep, wasn’t pretty. This, my friends, is what the double-whammy of pain and emotional eating do to me – 230; 45 waist; 44 hips.
I needed to put that out there. I need to see it somewhere besides the mirror (which I can avoid) and in my clothes. See, cooler temperatures are ahead which means bigger, bulkier clothing. It’s easy to hide what I’ve regained in cool weather clothes. I see fall and winter with relief sometimes because it means I can hide.
Guess what – I’m tired of hiding! I’m tired of convincing myself that I look better than I think I do. I don’t think I’m horrible, but I’m not the little thing I used to be. I have a closet full of great tops that I’ve outgrown – and I only gained a couple of inches.
I’ve decided that I will not buy any clothing for a while unless it’s for a specific occasion. I have great clothes waiting for me, and they’re not 2-3 sizes smaller, just one. I’m back to a size 20-22 top and not happy about it. I bought most of them in celebration of reaching that size (and the sale was awesome); I need to make sure I get to wear them before they’re out of style.
I’m not going to do anything drastic, just get back to what I need to do, using the tools that I have on hand. I need to make sure I’m eating well and getting the nutrients I need. I need to get in those longer walks. I was up to 3 miles a day before pain knocked me off my game. On the days that walking makes me cry, I’ll hit the floor and get in a few more minutes of yoga and/or Pilates. Yes, this girl is pretty flexible.
Technically I start over for the last time tomorrow, but today has already been a good day. Except for the 4 on the 1-10 pain scale. And the congestion. But that’s another story.
It’s actually a good Monday. Go figure.
Anyone else start over recently? Or come to a new and better understanding of yourself? Share with me!
Be well. Be strong.
This quote is from Raw Soul – kick-butt recipes in there. It hit me hard when I read it. I always tell other people that they need to take care of themselves but put myself last. Granted I’m doing better than I have in the past, but I still put everything and everyone else before me.
I take time to cry through my physical therapy exercises, meditate, and to cook well for us all, but I don’t nurture myself. I don’t see my down time as anything other than a necessary break. I need to see it as something special.
For a week, starting today, I will nurture myself. Let’s see how much of a difference it makes.
On another note, hubby’s sick and doing his damnedest to share the germs.
Warning – little sleep, pain meds, and a wandering mind are responsible for the oddly flowing post. It makes sense, but isn’t as pretty to look at as I’d like.
It’s been a while. Too long, really.
I’ve been journaling haphazardly offline and not feeling up to sharing online. Why? Because I’d lost control. Earlier today I lost control for a bit but was able to stop myself.
Strangely enough I’m eating mostly healthy food when I lose control. My tastes have changed I suppose. Sugar is still my number one craving, but until a few days ago I had those cravings under control.
I’m not counting points as much as I’m watching portions. I’m getting whole grains, fruit, and vegetables more than anything else. I am truly digging my morning oatmeal with a little ground flax and maple syrup. Fruit is working really well as a snack. And big ol‘ salads are the norm now. I still get my junk in, but nowhere near as much. Ad I keep my handy dandy mug-o-water nearby and drain it at least twice a day..
The South Beach 100 calorie pack of dark chocolate covered soynuts is divine. Too bad hubby likes them an have finished them off. Grrr. He supposedly hated dark chocolate.
I’ve lost 8 pounds this past 3 weeks. It looks like it might be 8 pounds for the month. No complaints.
As for exercise, I’m having to slow down again. My knees this time. Arthritis at 39 sucks! My right side is beginning to stiffen up, so Sherrie will be more balanced in stiffness. I’m not whining s much as bitching. Not a ‘poor me’ attitude,more of an ‘oh crap.’ I’m still smiling, though. Before this latest flareup I had worked up to 3 miles a day 5 mornings a week. I’ve always had a fairly quick pace, so I’m getting my sweat on early. I was, anyway.
But, no matter how down I get, I remember that there is a healthier Sherrie inside me. She’s not hiding as much as she used to. We should all let our inner goddess out more often.
Tini, thanks for inspiring me to get back on here. Much appreciated my friend!
Settling in has been a bigger job than anticipated. We decided to paint the dining and living rooms later and hubby has been looking at new colors! I might have to strangle him of he changes on me since it took forever to choose the colors we did. He’s thinking about wainscoting again because he saw one that jumped out at him. Never mind that it doesn’t quite fit with our decor….Men I tell ya!
On the health front, I’ve had good and bad days. I cannot exercise for more than a few minutes and am not allowed to lift more than 10 pounds. Well, I got cocky and moved boxes yesterday. Not because I wanted to prove anything, but because I couldn’t stand looking at or subbing my toes on them anymore. One the bright side I got two more boxes out of here altogether & got my holiday stuff into the attic. On the down side, I hurt. Really hurt. But I don’t want to eat the hurt away. That’s something, right?
I rarely have an appetite these days. I eat because I have to and nothing really has any flavor. I feel a funk coming on and need to shake it.
I’ve gained a few pounds – back to 228. I need to regain control and have been doing a little better every day. I’m journaling offline, writing everything down; setting and reaching daily goals. It’s not starting that hurts me, but staying on track. Since exercise is off the table for the time being, I’ll be counting points full time.
School starts next week and that means healthier food for all of us. More fruits and veggies, more balance, more harmony. It could not come at a better time! DD’s excited about high school & DSS is stoked about being a senior in elementary school. I’m looking forward to the quiet while I work, lol.
Anyway, I’ve missed posting here and will be back in regular fashion soon. I know I’ve said that before; sue me.
Until then, be well.
I don’t have much playtime these days, but that will change somewhat after finals next week.
We closed on the house & have started on the makeover. I’ll share pics soon. We’ve picked our paint colors, have kick butt hardwoods that need just a little love (30+ years under a carpet will keep ’em pretty). DD wants a black carpet and lavender walls – we can do that. DS wants royal blue & an area rug. Hubster & I are going with cafe a lait and a reddish accent wall.
We’re packing and cleaning, all excited and just plain happy. I’m fighting through a flareup from hell. ON Tuesday and Wednesday I repeatedly lost my balance while standing still. Joyous. It’s a sign that I need to go back in for another evaluation. Last time I was told that if things didn’t improve that surgery was my only option.
Oh f*ckity f*ck f*ck.
The family knows I’m having a flareup, but don’t know how bad it is yet. I know I should tell them, but summer is almost over, we’re starting a new chapter of our lives, and I don’t want to deal with the same questions and odd behavior thrown my way right after my diagnosis. What I really want is them happy until things slow down a bit.
If there was a time for comfort food, it’s now. I’ve been pretty good about that this past week. We had coconut cake and I didn’t have more the one slice a day and I didn’t have a slice every day. I made a wicked vegetable stew for dinner the other night and wallowed in it’s almost fat free, decadent, old school goodness. I followed the recipe from the winter 2007 issue of Don’t Eat Off the Sidewalk and added celery and green peas. The dumplings I didn’t like much (never have) so I only had the one (about the size of a half dollar coin).
As much as food could be used to comfort me, I won’t use it that way. I’m going to be on crutches soon enough at this rate – I don’t need to use food as one. Or alcohol. I’m so tempted.
I’m probably going to disappear for a day or two while I complete assignments and get more moving stuff out of the way.
Until next time.
Well, sorta off. I’m not going to actively work out, but I have packing, cleaning, and laundry to do. Strength training and walking. The dumpster is a couple minutes away from our place, so toting multiple bags of trash will work my arms and shoulders. Laundry involves a bit of bending and reaching on top of lifting the baskets. And oh man do we have some baskets to lift!
As for food, I need to go shopping. I have beans on hand and some GimmieLean sausage and homemade taco tvp/nutmeat left over, but just enough for another day or two. I need to grab some protein and veggies.
Monday has always been my weigh in day, so I’m keeping it. Tomorrow I’ll post my loss (I don’t think I have one) or gain (I hope I don’t have one) and reevaluate how I’ve eaten and what I can do to change things.
One thing I need to do is get rid of my triggers. I’ve been craving sugar lately and have eaten sweets. but I didn’t go over in points. I know the difference between a good choice and a bad one, but lately I’ve been working overtime to fit a desired food into my day without going over. I’m not beating myself up, but damn! I have learned to cheat without cheating and it always bites me in the butt. It’s annoying and frustrating.
When I eat things that don’t agree with me I feel ick. I’m bloated, gassy, and miserable. I’m kinda feeling that way right now and had a decent breakfast (Mexican omelet – 2 eggs, taco nut meat, onion, jalapeno, & salsa with water and a cup of coffee) and somewhat naughty snack (small slice coconut cake with water).
Groan….
Whine….
Whimper….
K, done. Time to snap out of it and fix what I’m doing wrong. I know what’s wrong and need to stop ignoring it and fix it. I grab certain foods out of habit, not hunger. Until I can get better control when it comes to those foods, I won’t bring them home. If the sweet craving hits, a square of dark chocolate or sugar free pudding will be my fix. Or fruit with (coconut) cream or yogurt.
I feel better. And it didn’t take a week of moping to do so.