Freaking nasty hot

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This was from the What the Forecast app at 11:30 am EST. I’ll be inside as much as possible today and the rest of this week until after sundown. I did go out yesterday after 6 PM to vote. It had cooled down to a real feel temperature of around 100 degrees.

Yeah, this is for the birds. And barely for them. Be safe and stay hydrated, people.

This dog, y’all

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If you follow me on social media, you should have seen Xena by now. She’s a staffie mix spoiled brat that joined our family four years ago. She is a good girl and very loving. she also has a huge diva vibe some days and makes it clear that we know when she is unhappy.

But when I am having a bad day, she tries to comfort me. Those days, I forget how bratty she can be. Sometimes.

She is going to be so upset when this couch is gone, lol.

Do you have a Xena to help bring light to your day? Or darkness depending on their mood? Tell me about them sometimes.

Until next time, peace. Love your best life, spoonie or spoonie-adjacent.

The new normal

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My wonky spine is misbehaving at the moment

What does normal look like to you? Running errands, work, fun times, housework, tv or movies, repeat? This was my normal, even when health issues started flaring up. I had to cut back somewhere, so I cut my solo fun and tv/movie time so I’d have energy for the other things. That’s what chronic illness does. It forces you to choose one thing in place or another based on recovery time, the level of guilt you’d feel for letting someone down or letting something fall to the wayside. It sucks, but it is what it is.

It is literally that choice most of the time. We’re not antisocial. We’re not lazy. Telling us we’re either of those things does not result in a sudden burst of energy. It tells us who you are and that you may not have our well-being in mind.

Do I still try to do all the things? Sometimes. Do I regret it? Most of the time. Am I sitting here today wishing I had more energy and wondering why an hour at Costco yesterday has me so wiped still? Absolutely. This is normal for me now. In a bit, my hands will stop cooperating and I will need to call my workday to a close. Why? Because if I don’t, I will be unable to use my hands for much else today. I need to get some chopping and cleaning done. And that depends on how much my body will cooperate overall. This is surviving. Thriving? Not at the moment, but ask me another day.

Until next time, be good to yourself. I have a few recipes that I’m playing with and I’ll share them once I have them down. Take care.

19 babies, 3 adults

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This is incredibly sad and I know I am not the only one feeling this.

Do not come at me with comments about good guys with guns, supposed safe zones, politics, or mental health as the root of this. I cannot imagine the families’ pain. I cannot imagine the victims; fear. It has to stop. Not tomorrow, Not next year. It has to end.

Please, y’all. let people know you love them. Every day.

Just be

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Happy Friday! At least it will be Friday when this post goes out to the world. How are you doing? Are you eating well? Getting enough sleep? Doing something besides working, sleeping, and on repeat?

Over here, the garden is taking shape it’s getting toasty out, the dog has the zoomies, her head met my good knee, sleep is literally on and off, and once again, I was awake before 6 am. This is not intentional. At all. My earliest weekday alarm is set for 6:17 am (slightly off from hubster’s alarm to help me get up before 6:40 am), so this wide awake before sunrise bull has to stop. I am not a morning person and not getting a decent amount of sleep makes it worse.

How do you cope when your last nerve is at its limit? We all have those days, spoonie or not. I disappear. I get lost in silence or music. Why? That few minutes a day keeps me from going from annoyed to tearing a new one into whoever or whatever made that last nerve break. Try it. You don’t need to make music your thing. Just hide for 10 minutes. Pick a shady spot outside, a bathroom, or even a closet. Let everything outside of your thoughts go. If your thoughts are part of the problem, then listen to music (lo-fi or whatever you like) or relaxing sounds (rain, thunderstorms, waves, or white noise). Set a timer and just be. It won’t necessarily solve any problems you have to face, but it may help you get more focused and ready to tackle them.

And on that note, I need to get to my to-do list. Until next time, be good to yourself. Peace!

How much could I do today?

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It’s time for today’s episode of What Made Sherrie’s Body Quit! The game where that line between ‘good’ and ‘nope’ moves on a daily basis.

I loaded the dishwasher and cleaned food from the fridge. The full plan included wiping down the fridge inside and out, dumping trash and recycling, and finishing up the load in the dryer. What happened? Fibromyalgia and arthritis. My spine is on fire daily and I know the signs of needing to quit. My ribs, though? They decided to jump in. My side decided to scream in protest as I moved things off the fridge shelves. Then the pain radiated to the front, sparking an episode of ‘Heart or Ribs?’ That game requires dropping everything to make sure it isn’t my heart.

Before anyone makes a snide comment about that fat girl being out of shape, I’ve been fatter and in worse shape. I’m not out of breath. I’m in pain.

This isn’t an attempt to gain sympathy. It’s a straight look into my afternoon. The stupidity of the decisions that are needed just to keep pain at a lower level so I can function. It’s not fun or a game when cleaning the kitchen could result in a day of bed to couch and back. And don’t get me started on the which meds to take decision. Do I take the prescribed stuff and have a full on high or the otc stuff and tear up my stomach? There’s more to it, but yeah.

And that ends today’s game. Xena says hi by the way. She’s not thrilled about the game, but it does mean extra snuggles.

See you later.

Rant

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If you are not in the mood for a bit of anger and frustration, definitely skip this one. This is all off the top of my head with no edits. This shows you where I am when I turn my filters off. But without the swearing.

I do not understand why finding help for chronic issues is so difficult. I don’t understand how or why treatment rarely takes other issues into consideration. And I really do not understand why pieces of a patient take priority over the patient as a whole.

Here’s an example using my issues. Nerve impingement in different areas of my body are treated by three different docs. The resulting pain is amplified by the Fibromyalgia. My neck, shoulders, elbows, wrists, and hands are a numb, tingly, painful, and weakening mess. The allowances I make to ease the pressure on my neck and shoulders are not the best for my elbows, wrists, and hands. What could be best for them may aggravate my neck and shoulders.

Was that a jumbled mess? I hope not. If so, it’s a reflection of my frustration. How do I choose which pain has to take priority? I’ve been trying to compartmentalize the issues for ages and now my body has had more than enough. I am screaming. Screaming in pain, frustration, and in hopes the screaming takes the edge off.

At least I’m not getting the ‘just lose weight’ suggestions. Yet.

I am not seeking drugs. I need answers so I can feel better. I do not expect to get to 100% ever again. I just want to stop screaming.

The next post will be different. For now, I see Jerrod Carmichael’s new HBO special and spring rolls in my future. Beyond that, I’m undecided.

See you next time.