Yep, wasn’t pretty. This, my friends, is what the double-whammy of pain and emotional eating do to me – 230; 45 waist; 44 hips.

I needed to put that out there. I need to see it somewhere besides the mirror (which I can avoid) and in my clothes. See, cooler temperatures are ahead which means bigger, bulkier clothing. It’s easy to hide what I’ve regained in cool weather clothes. I see fall and winter with relief sometimes because it means I can hide.

Guess what – I’m tired of hiding! I’m tired of convincing myself that I look better than I think I do. I don’t think I’m horrible, but I’m not the little thing I used to be. I have a closet full of great tops that I’ve outgrown – and I only gained a couple of inches.

I’ve decided that I will not buy any clothing for a while unless it’s for a specific occasion. I have great clothes waiting for me, and they’re not 2-3 sizes smaller, just one. I’m back to a size 20-22 top and not happy about it. I bought most of them in celebration of reaching that size (and the sale was awesome); I need to make sure I get to wear them before they’re out of style.

I’m not going to do anything drastic, just get back to what I need to do, using the tools that I have on hand. I need to make sure I’m eating well and getting the nutrients I need. I need to get in those longer walks. I was up to 3 miles a day before pain knocked me off my game. On the days that walking makes me cry, I’ll hit the floor and get in a few more minutes of yoga and/or Pilates. Yes, this girl is pretty flexible.

Technically I start over for the last time tomorrow, but today has already been a good day. Except for the 4 on the 1-10 pain scale. And the congestion. But that’s another story.

It’s actually a good Monday. Go figure.

Anyone else start over recently? Or come to a new and better understanding of yourself? Share with me!

Be well. Be strong.