What does normal look like to you? Running errands, work, fun times, housework, tv or movies, repeat? This was my normal, even when health issues started flaring up. I had to cut back somewhere, so I cut my solo fun and tv/movie time so I’d have energy for the other things. That’s what chronic illness does. It forces you to choose one thing in place or another based on recovery time, the level of guilt you’d feel for letting someone down or letting something fall to the wayside. It sucks, but it is what it is.
It is literally that choice most of the time. We’re not antisocial. We’re not lazy. Telling us we’re either of those things does not result in a sudden burst of energy. It tells us who you are and that you may not have our well-being in mind.
Do I still try to do all the things? Sometimes. Do I regret it? Most of the time. Am I sitting here today wishing I had more energy and wondering why an hour at Costco yesterday has me so wiped still? Absolutely. This is normal for me now. In a bit, my hands will stop cooperating and I will need to call my workday to a close. Why? Because if I don’t, I will be unable to use my hands for much else today. I need to get some chopping and cleaning done. And that depends on how much my body will cooperate overall. This is surviving. Thriving? Not at the moment, but ask me another day.
Until next time, be good to yourself. I have a few recipes that I’m playing with and I’ll share them once I have them down. Take care.
“Normal” fluctuates for me. A year ago, before the RA diagnosis, I was working out, often twice a day, doing my regular work-for-pay, taking care of my flower garden and helping a bunch in my family’s vegetable garden. Through the fall and winter I started having big flares that steadily worsened and the drop in energy was shocking. Getting diagnosed and medicated has been a lifesaver (along with dietary changes, sleeping a tad more, and paying attention to how I feel). I’ve never been a high-energy person, but feel closer to my usual self now.
I hope that you move from surviving to thriving soon. And if not, that you continue to survive with moments of pure joy here and there.
Thank you! Moving from survival to thrive mode is my goal. Doing what I can while I can makes a difference in my day.