Grief is natural. We have to get through it however we can. Laughing, crying, staring off into space – all natural. Feeling lost is natural. Feeling like you can’t hold it together is natural. Grief is universal and individual. Grief is an asshole.
Watching the people I love in pain has taken the wind out of me somewhat. Some days I feel like I’m here and others not so much. I wonder if what I’m doing is enough, but I know there is only so much I can do.
The grief has brought on a few days of mindless eating and tears. Not just for the ones who left, but for those who left long ago. I’ve dreamed of my grandmother, mother-in-law, father, and old friends. Not memory-inspired dreams, but scenes of happy times with all of them in the present. They have been both sad and comforting, but mostly sad. I hate that they have and will miss so many good things. Graduations, births, new jobs, new homes, all of it.
It will get easier, I know. If you’re grieving, you’re not alone.