Falling down and getting back up

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Howdy, y’all.  It’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything here.  I’ve been active on Instagram and Facebook, but not really blogging.

Grief is natural.  We have to get through it however we can.  Laughing, crying, staring off into space – all natural.  Feeling lost is natural.  Feeling like you can’t hold it together is natural.  Grief is universal and individual.  Grief is an asshole.

Watching the people I love in pain has taken the wind out of me somewhat.  Some days I feel like I’m here and others not so much.  I wonder if what I’m doing is enough, but I know there is only so much I can do.

The grief has brought on a few days of mindless eating and tears.  Not just for the ones who left, but for those who left long ago.  I’ve dreamed of my grandmother, mother-in-law, father, and old friends.  Not memory-inspired dreams, but scenes of happy times with all of them in the present.  They have been both sad and comforting, but mostly sad. I hate that they have and will miss so many good things.  Graduations, births, new jobs, new homes, all of it.

It will get easier, I know.  If you’re grieving, you’re not alone.

Out of spoons

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Hi, all.  This is me, out of spoons.

I am exhausted,  in pain, uninspired,  and done.  At least right now.  Weeks of running around almost daily is kicking my butt.  I slept past noon and want to go back to bed.  I know I have things to do, but I fracking cannot.  I don’t have the energy to fake it today.   And that’s okay.

Do not forget to take care of yourself.   Sometimes that means taking the time for a nap, sleeping in,  or anime marathon if and when you need it.

So here I am.  Not faking it.  Hope you’re having a better day.