Yes, it’s a new month complete with a new tropical storm (hi, Bertha). Kids are heading back to school, tax-free shopping weekend sales are starting, and the thought of a quiet house between 8 and 3 pm is making parents giddy.
Sorry, kids. Well, no, not really.
To me, the start of a new month is time to reflect on the gains of the previous month and set new targets for the current month. Notice I said gains? It’s my way of focusing on the positive. In July I increased resistance, speed, and strength. I hit a smaller size. I wanted to shop for clothing instead of just grabbing whatever I thought would fit. It sunk in that I need to eat if I’m going to succeed. No more drastic cuts to calorie intake. For August I want to increase my aquatic therapy sessions. I want to wear a certain top and have it look good. I want to improve on July’s fitness targets. See, all positive and also realistic and attainable. It took years to fall apart and it takes time to fully recover, heal, and thrive.
What are your August targets? You can reach them. I’ll be right here, cheering you on.
Can you believe 2014 is already six months old? June is already 11 days old? Where did the time go? Are you on track? Anywhere close to where you wanted to be? I’ll admit it, I’m not. And I won’t let it throw me much. I’ll tweak my plans and go month to month.
My plan was in part inspired by a dream. I’ve been back and forth to the doc and specialists (yes, plural) trying to finally figure out what all ails me. It’s exhausting and frustrating and frightening if I K et my mind wander too much. More so if I consult Dr. Google instead of waiting to for a specific diagnosis. According to Google, cold symptoms could be anything from a cold to a rare syndrome that would put someone just outside death’s door. No one needs that kind of stress or fear without knowing what’s going on inside them.
So, back to this dream. Of course I dreamed about a doctor visit. I mean, it’s been at least 33% of my focus for a while now. So, I’m waiting for the doc to walk in, and it’s Kris Carr! You know, the woman behind Crazy, Sexy Cancer. Her.
I was so in awe and blown away. I think seeing her was a sign. Not that a cancer diagnosis is looming, but that I’m doing the right thing by following up with the docs and working on healing. Another round of physical therapy starts next today My diet is cleaning up and even more greens are coming in. My healthier cookbooks are my main kitchen inspiration and I’m eating to live.
I don’t want to just survive anymore. I want to thrive, glow, and kick ass.
So, what’s happening with you? Have any good dreams lately?
And oh man am I getting my ass kicked right now. In addition to my usual pain, my clumsy side decided I needed more pain. I stepped on a dog bone, slipped on my naked floors, and hit hard. And bounced. I haven’t bounced before because I can usually catch myself. My head bounced and I could swear I heard a crack. No fear, the head and floor are intact.
You know it’s bad when the dogs go silent. I got up, crawled to the couch, climbed up, and laid there for a couple of hours.
You know how moms try to do everything while trying to keep her issues to herself? That’s me to a point. I got up, made dinner, and kept fairly quiet about how much it hurt. I felt a little better on Saturday and ran errands on Sunday. That was unwise. My pain went from 7 to 11 on the 1-10 scale and all I want to to is sleep. Crying takes too much energy.
I hate being a downer. Hate it! I hate being stuck. I know what happens when I push too hard instead of listening to my body, but I did it anyway. I do it anyway. And I end up here yet again; in pain, hating every second of it.