June already? What’s your plan?

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Can you believe 2014 is already six months old?  June is already 11 days old?  Where did the time go?  Are you on track?  Anywhere close to where you wanted to be?  I’ll admit it,  I’m not.   And I won’t let it throw me much.  I’ll tweak my plans and go month to month.

My plan was in part inspired by a dream.  I’ve been back and forth to the doc and specialists (yes, plural) trying to finally figure out what all ails me.   It’s exhausting and frustrating and frightening if I K et my mind wander too much.  More so if I consult Dr. Google instead of waiting to for a specific diagnosis.   According to Google,  cold symptoms could be anything from a cold to a rare syndrome that would put someone just outside death’s door.  No one needs that kind of stress or fear without knowing what’s going on inside them.

So, back to this dream.  Of course I dreamed about a doctor visit.  I mean, it’s been at least 33% of my focus for a while now.  So, I’m waiting for the doc to walk in, and it’s Kris Carr!   You know, the woman behind Crazy, Sexy Cancer.  Her.

I was so in awe and blown away.  I think seeing her was a sign.  Not that a cancer diagnosis is looming, but that I’m doing the right thing by following up with the docs and working on healing.  Another round of physical therapy starts next today   My diet is cleaning up and even more greens are coming in.  My healthier cookbooks are my main kitchen inspiration and I’m eating to live.

There they are, two of my inspirations!

There they are, two of my inspirations!

One of my go-to's for healthy vegan eats.

One of my go-to’s for healthy vegan eats. Lindsay Nixon photo.

A fav dish from Crazy Sexy Kitchen.  Sherrie Thompson photo.

A fav dish from Crazy Sexy Kitchen.  This and the tahini dressing that is.

I'll hit the library more often than the bookstore for new inspiration.

I’ll hit the library more often than the bookstore for new inspiration.

I don’t want to just survive anymore.  I want to thrive, glow, and kick ass.

So, what’s happening with you?  Have any good dreams lately?

More on my former doc

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I have not made me feelings for my former doc private.  She was so horrible to me that I feared going to another doc even when my blood pressure spiked to near-stroke levels.  A few days ago we had to review health insurance info and physician’s info was required for our file.  We included her info only because we haven’t found a new primary physician yet.  While Googling her address and phone number, I found a review site and could not believe what I saw.  Several people reported similar treatment and she seems to have gotten worse.

Does that change my opinion?  No.  She is supposed to help patients, not ignore, abuse, or ridicule them.  She may have gone off the deep end, but that is no excuse for her behavior.  I do wonder if I could have saved some people from her lack of care if I had reviewed her.   But I know I was (and may be still) too hurt and angry to make my point without seeming like I am bitter.   I’m not bitter.  I’m sad and angry.  I avoided help when I really needed it due to fear of being put down and accused of being crazy, lazy, or just looking for pain meds.

Yep, still too angry to review her.