4 pounds gone

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Last Monday I weighed in at 236 and wanted to cry. It’s not that it’s my top number of all time, but it’s the number I hit when I felt I was at rock bottom. I was heavier, but that number is a sore spot with me.

I went into action as soon as I got home after seeing DD off for school. I went through the pantry and fridge and tossed my trigger foods. I then went to the store and picked up things I actually needed – whole grains, beans, veggies. I made a huge pot of red beans and rice (fat free & awesome), steam-fried cabbage, and berries for dessert. It was simple, filling, full of fiber, heart-healthy, and just plain good! Hubby has been talking about it all week and he never does that.
It reminded me that I can have fabulous food that is good for me. I don’t have to eat junk when time is of the essence.

This morning when I hit the scale I was 4 pounds lighter. I didn’t count points or hit the elliptical or starve. I ate good food that was good for me. This is what this journey is about. Eating well and living well.

After 10 pounds are gone I’ll be exercising more. Right now walking and my modified Pilates and yoga routines are the extent of it. My body cannot take much more than that right now. I tried and spent two days paying for it.

K, that’s it for now.

Chicago here I come!

Weighted and measured this moring

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Yep, wasn’t pretty. This, my friends, is what the double-whammy of pain and emotional eating do to me – 230; 45 waist; 44 hips.

I needed to put that out there. I need to see it somewhere besides the mirror (which I can avoid) and in my clothes. See, cooler temperatures are ahead which means bigger, bulkier clothing. It’s easy to hide what I’ve regained in cool weather clothes. I see fall and winter with relief sometimes because it means I can hide.

Guess what – I’m tired of hiding! I’m tired of convincing myself that I look better than I think I do. I don’t think I’m horrible, but I’m not the little thing I used to be. I have a closet full of great tops that I’ve outgrown – and I only gained a couple of inches.

I’ve decided that I will not buy any clothing for a while unless it’s for a specific occasion. I have great clothes waiting for me, and they’re not 2-3 sizes smaller, just one. I’m back to a size 20-22 top and not happy about it. I bought most of them in celebration of reaching that size (and the sale was awesome); I need to make sure I get to wear them before they’re out of style.

I’m not going to do anything drastic, just get back to what I need to do, using the tools that I have on hand. I need to make sure I’m eating well and getting the nutrients I need. I need to get in those longer walks. I was up to 3 miles a day before pain knocked me off my game. On the days that walking makes me cry, I’ll hit the floor and get in a few more minutes of yoga and/or Pilates. Yes, this girl is pretty flexible.

Technically I start over for the last time tomorrow, but today has already been a good day. Except for the 4 on the 1-10 pain scale. And the congestion. But that’s another story.

It’s actually a good Monday. Go figure.

Anyone else start over recently? Or come to a new and better understanding of yourself? Share with me!

Be well. Be strong.

7th day – my day off!

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Well, sorta off. I’m not going to actively work out, but I have packing, cleaning, and laundry to do. Strength training and walking. The dumpster is a couple minutes away from our place, so toting multiple bags of trash will work my arms and shoulders. Laundry involves a bit of bending and reaching on top of lifting the baskets. And oh man do we have some baskets to lift!

As for food, I need to go shopping. I have beans on hand and some GimmieLean sausage and homemade taco tvp/nutmeat left over, but just enough for another day or two. I need to grab some protein and veggies.

Monday has always been my weigh in day, so I’m keeping it. Tomorrow I’ll post my loss (I don’t think I have one) or gain (I hope I don’t have one) and reevaluate how I’ve eaten and what I can do to change things.

One thing I need to do is get rid of my triggers. I’ve been craving sugar lately and have eaten sweets. but I didn’t go over in points. I know the difference between a good choice and a bad one, but lately I’ve been working overtime to fit a desired food into my day without going over. I’m not beating myself up, but damn! I have learned to cheat without cheating and it always bites me in the butt. It’s annoying and frustrating.

When I eat things that don’t agree with me I feel ick. I’m bloated, gassy, and miserable. I’m kinda feeling that way right now and had a decent breakfast (Mexican omelet – 2 eggs, taco nut meat, onion, jalapeno, & salsa with water and a cup of coffee) and somewhat naughty snack (small slice coconut cake with water).

Groan….
Whine….
Whimper….

K, done. Time to snap out of it and fix what I’m doing wrong. I know what’s wrong and need to stop ignoring it and fix it. I grab certain foods out of habit, not hunger. Until I can get better control when it comes to those foods, I won’t bring them home. If the sweet craving hits, a square of dark chocolate or sugar free pudding will be my fix. Or fruit with (coconut) cream or yogurt.

I feel better. And it didn’t take a week of moping to do so.

Day six – gloomy and gray out

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Yay, the first tropical storm to threaten the US is a mere 100 miles away. I’m not worried about it because I’m too busy stressing about the closing on Thursday. It’s just gloomy out at the moment, no rain or wind. The dogs didn’t want to stay outside and that bugs me a little. Maybe they know something I don’t. Or maybe they hate the neighbors.

Day 6 of 8MM went well. I’m looking forward to the day off, but it won’t really be a day off because more cleaning and semi-heavy lifting will be in order. Yep, still packing and cleaning.

Tonight is Anime Night and that usually means a theme dinner. I’m not sure if we’ll do Mexican, Greek, Asian, or something else. Breakfast for dinner always appeals to me. I’m just going to go go with the flow.

Day four – feeling great!

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Got in a 30 minute walk and my 8MM this morning. I can’t believe I went walking so early, but it’s supposed to be hot today and I have a lot to do. It feels good to be on track with food and exercise.

My brother and sister-in-law called last night to invite me to go with them to a Weight Watchers meeting. Yep, after talking to my bro on and off for a couple of years and trying to get him to go with me, he’s joined. She lost 9 pounds and he lost 7. They’re excited and both feel that this will last a lifetime. I’m thrilled for them.

The Emmy nominations just aired. Woohoo Michael C. Hall & Dexter! Woohoo Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie)! Woohoo The Office!

Today’s plans include classwork, cooking (which I didn’t get to do yesterday), cleaning, packing, and torturing the kiddos. We also have a few things Tivo’d to take out before we move, so our weekend entertainment is set. I will happily pack while watching Saw 3.

Wednesday day 3

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Whew! It’s hot out and inside today. I’ve been cleaning and packing pretty much since I crawled out of bed this morning. I got in my 8MM and after all this heavy lifting I think I may make tomorrow my day off instead of Sunday. Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.

Food has been ok, but I’ve had to make myself eat because I haven’t been hungry. For dinner tonight we’re having pasta with a garden vegetable sauce and a zucchini, garlic, tomato, and onion saute on the side. I’m going to water saute them and add a little oil just before serving, either a drizzle of olive or flax oil. I’d planned to make either pumpkin or flax muffins too, but it’s too frickin hot! Maybe after the sun sets I’ll go for it.

Where does DS get the frickin energy? He’s making me tired – biking, two basketball games, and now fooling about with his RC car – all in the three hours. Gah!

I may be back later; undecided.

Tuesday, day two

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Got in a 15 minute walk and my 8MM day two! I’m not sure what I’m having for breakfast this morning. I threw together a lunch for hubby and am thinking toward lunch and dinner. I’m getting hungry, so I have to eat something. I’m leaning toward either a smoothie or grits and an egg.

Yep, still struggling with veganism. It would help if I’d remember to grab certain things at the store. Like tofu & TVP. It would help more if Publix carried TVP so I wouldn’t have to go to Whole Foods or Earth Fare where I’m tempted to buy a little of everything.

DSS will be here to see his new room and get it the way he wants it! I was kind of worried he’d have to go back to his mom’s before we could get it just right, but nope! Yeah!

9 days until closing. OMG!

July 14

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I weighed in this morning at 225. Yay! I love starting the week with a loss!

The landscapers showed up a little early, so the dogs will have to wait for a longer walk. They got in a few minutes of running about wildly while I limped nearby.

I got in my 8MM workout (using a resistance band instead of dumbbells) and a few minutes of yoga. I feel so good! I think the band will be a little easier on my shoulder than the dumbbells for rows and presses without changing the effectiveness of the workout. We’ll see.

I had cereal for breakfast for the first time in weeks. It was yummy! I used to grab a bowl at night if I felt the need to snack. I should pick the habit back up, especially since it was a whopping 1-2 points for the bowl (1/2 cup Fiber One original + 1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk; another point if I throw in berries).

More later.

The next 4 weeks

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…will consist of final exams, a huge IT Networking project, new house stuff (cleaning, painting, ripping up carpet & finishing hardwood floors, reglazing bathroom tiles, work, school stuff for the kiddos, snuggling with hubster, being knocked over by dogs (as usual), and following the routine that helped me when I started on a weigh loss journey a few years back. This will be my typical weekday routine:

  • Get hubster off to work
  • 15-20 minute walk with the dogs (well, hobble for me until my knee is back to 100%)
  • 8 Minutes in the Morning
  • Breakfast and supplements (multi+iron, GLA, CoQ10, joint formula, flaxseed oil, magnesium + calcium, something for pain if needed)
  • School & work
  • Family stuff – lunch with the kids, torturing them with my ‘uncoolness,’ dinner with my three favorite people
  • Afternoon or evening walk or yoga; meditation

On weekends I’ll get to skip the am dog walking cause hubster & the kids take over, and I may not have work, but everything else stays the same.

Program and personal goals

  • Start 7/14
  • 6-8 pounds down by 8/10 (218-220 the goal weight)
  • 190 by 12/31

Overall goals

  • 150 pounds
  • 45 minute to 1 hour karate or kickboxing class (or video) at least twice a week

I will look at myself the way hubby sees me.

When this 4 weeks is over, I’ll start a new cycle. I can eat what I want; nothing’s forbidden. I will play with my food as always, but will try new things more often. I’ll weigh in weekly, but will stay away from the tape measure for at least 2 weeks.