arthritis

Out of spoons

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Hi, all.  This is me, out of spoons.

I am exhausted,  in pain, uninspired,  and done.  At least right now.  Weeks of running around almost daily is kicking my butt.  I slept past noon and want to go back to bed.  I know I have things to do, but I fracking cannot.  I don’t have the energy to fake it today.   And that’s okay.

Do not forget to take care of yourself.   Sometimes that means taking the time for a nap, sleeping in,  or anime marathon if and when you need it.

So here I am.  Not faking it.  Hope you’re having a better day.

June already? What’s your plan?

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Can you believe 2014 is already six months old?  June is already 11 days old?  Where did the time go?  Are you on track?  Anywhere close to where you wanted to be?  I’ll admit it,  I’m not.   And I won’t let it throw me much.  I’ll tweak my plans and go month to month.

My plan was in part inspired by a dream.  I’ve been back and forth to the doc and specialists (yes, plural) trying to finally figure out what all ails me.   It’s exhausting and frustrating and frightening if I K et my mind wander too much.  More so if I consult Dr. Google instead of waiting to for a specific diagnosis.   According to Google,  cold symptoms could be anything from a cold to a rare syndrome that would put someone just outside death’s door.  No one needs that kind of stress or fear without knowing what’s going on inside them.

So, back to this dream.  Of course I dreamed about a doctor visit.  I mean, it’s been at least 33% of my focus for a while now.  So, I’m waiting for the doc to walk in, and it’s Kris Carr!   You know, the woman behind Crazy, Sexy Cancer.  Her.

I was so in awe and blown away.  I think seeing her was a sign.  Not that a cancer diagnosis is looming, but that I’m doing the right thing by following up with the docs and working on healing.  Another round of physical therapy starts next today   My diet is cleaning up and even more greens are coming in.  My healthier cookbooks are my main kitchen inspiration and I’m eating to live.

There they are, two of my inspirations!

There they are, two of my inspirations!

One of my go-to's for healthy vegan eats.

One of my go-to’s for healthy vegan eats. Lindsay Nixon photo.

A fav dish from Crazy Sexy Kitchen. Sherrie Thompson photo.

A fav dish from Crazy Sexy Kitchen.  This and the tahini dressing that is.

I'll hit the library more often than the bookstore for new inspiration.

I’ll hit the library more often than the bookstore for new inspiration.

I don’t want to just survive anymore.  I want to thrive, glow, and kick ass.

So, what’s happening with you?  Have any good dreams lately?

I admit it. I am chronic pain’s bitch.

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And oh man am I getting my ass kicked right now.  In addition to my usual pain, my clumsy side decided I needed more pain.  I stepped on a dog bone, slipped on my naked floors, and hit hard.  And bounced.  I haven’t bounced before because I can usually catch myself.  My head bounced and I could swear I heard a crack.  No fear, the head and floor are intact.

You know it’s bad when the dogs go silent.  I got up, crawled to the couch, climbed up, and laid there for a couple of hours.

You know how moms try to do everything while trying to keep her issues to herself?  That’s me to a point.  I got up, made dinner, and kept fairly quiet about how much it hurt.  I felt a little better on Saturday and ran errands on Sunday.  That was unwise.  My pain went from 7 to 11 on the 1-10 scale and all I want to to is sleep.  Crying takes too much energy.

I hate being a downer.  Hate it!  I hate being stuck.  I know what happens when I push too hard instead of listening to my body, but I did it anyway.  I do it anyway.  And I end up here yet again; in pain, hating every second of it.

Whine over.

Still sore – Could I be Sherrie the human barometer?

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Stupid stormy weather and increased pain seem to be buddies lately.  When a thunderstorm is about to hit, whether reported beforehand or not, I feel it.  A deep throbbing in my bones.  Add that to the regular aches and pains of my semi-broken self and you have a whimpering mess.

Well, not much whimpering comes from me.  The dogs, Big V in particular, whine and whimper when I’m not running about with them.  The nightmares about my legs crumbling as I walk do not help motivate me to move more than I have to.  Creepy dream, eh?  More than once now and it’s freaking me out.

Anyway, I wonder if I am feeling more due to the weather.  If cold can affect people, then surely storms can, too.

So can stepping in a hole and twisting an already aching ankle, but that’s another post.

Man I’m rambling today.  I blame the hurricane.

Be safe, friends.

Playing catch up

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Ok, I forgot to post earlier in the week. Right now I’m taking a break from my assignment because it was giving me a headache. The assignment and DD’s refusal to complete any of her assignments. Oh, and Snorificus is on the couch drowning out all sounds but his own. Yay…

I had a gain this past Sunday and I expected it. I didn’t journal and it came back to haunt me. I usually have a monthly gain, and this was less than usual, so I’m not as down as I could be about it. I wonder if I could have avoided the gain altogether if I had kept my journal. Seeing the food log in print or on screen makes me think twice about what I have at a later meal.

On the positive side, I had tons of water, fruit, and vegetables, even when we ate out. And I kept the caffeine level down.

Gah! My body is rebelling – my hands are cramping up like they usually do during a flare up. Yay flareup.

Plan for next week:
Add 10 minutes to my walks
Keep the fruit & veggies preppeed and ready to go
Keep foods with inflammatory properties to a minimum

So, how has your week been?

Week 2 and a bit of whining

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I lost another pound. I counted points, kept fat intake in check, and only lost a pound. One pound gone after a week like that used to make me want to cry, but I’m trying to keep the positive in mind. I have more energy and feel good. I got creative in the kitchen and the family enjoyed it right along with me. I’m on track and am gonna do what it takes to stay that way.

Now for the whining. My arthritic knee and shoulder are working overtime. I can’t walk more than I am at the moment and then I am am sucking down Tylenol or Advil to keep mobile. Gah!

That’s it. Time to meet DD’s school bus.

Starting over, breaking habits, feeling good and bad

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Warning – little sleep, pain meds, and a wandering mind are responsible for the oddly flowing post. It makes sense, but isn’t as pretty to look at as I’d like.

It’s been a while. Too long, really.

I’ve been journaling haphazardly offline and not feeling up to sharing online. Why? Because I’d lost control. Earlier today I lost control for a bit but was able to stop myself.

Strangely enough I’m eating mostly healthy food when I lose control. My tastes have changed I suppose. Sugar is still my number one craving, but until a few days ago I had those cravings under control.

I’m not counting points as much as I’m watching portions. I’m getting whole grains, fruit, and vegetables more than anything else. I am truly digging my morning oatmeal with a little ground flax and maple syrup. Fruit is working really well as a snack. And big ol‘ salads are the norm now. I still get my junk in, but nowhere near as much. Ad I keep my handy dandy mug-o-water nearby and drain it at least twice a day..

The South Beach 100 calorie pack of dark chocolate covered soynuts is divine. Too bad hubby likes them an have finished them off. Grrr. He supposedly hated dark chocolate.

I’ve lost 8 pounds this past 3 weeks. It looks like it might be 8 pounds for the month. No complaints.

As for exercise, I’m having to slow down again. My knees this time. Arthritis at 39 sucks! My right side is beginning to stiffen up, so Sherrie will be more balanced in stiffness. I’m not whining s much as bitching. Not a ‘poor me’ attitude,more of an ‘oh crap.’ I’m still smiling, though. Before this latest flareup I had worked up to 3 miles a day 5 mornings a week. I’ve always had a fairly quick pace, so I’m getting my sweat on early. I was, anyway.

But, no matter how down I get, I remember that there is a healthier Sherrie inside me. She’s not hiding as much as she used to. We should all let our inner goddess out more often.

Tini, thanks for inspiring me to get back on here. Much appreciated my friend!